Currently Listening In Between Dreams By Jack Johnson Banana Pancakes see related

i don't know why but i felt like makin an entry...so...here it goes...

My best friend Jami got ahold of me and basically told me how much she still loves me and reconfirmed our friendship b/c i thought it was gone.  I don't think she realizes how much I love her.  Its horrible to think and basically know that we won't be anything ever besides just friends...  She told me some stuff and it hurt me b/c to her we are just best friends but to me those things mean more to me than just friends.  And if you have ever seen the movie just friends its basically the story of my life as well as my best friends wedding.  Except the difference between me and the guy in just friends is that she was single still which is not the case for me. He had a chance and I don't right now or ever probably .  She asked me how i felt after talking all night and her disclosing some information to me that was very personal *why i'm not saying it* and i couldn't explain it was like I love you too much to be hearing this I just want you to realize that i'd rather not talk as much if I can't be more than friends but to be her friend would mean the world to me and just knowing she is alive and my bestfriend would mean the world.  Emotions suck! Relationships Suck! Everything about the situation sucks!  I think if he wasn't in the picture we would be in love and everything would be amazing...One more thing is that as I was just getting over her I am starting to like someone else and I was proud of myself for getting over her but she has to go and call me and say the same things she always does and it makes me think maybe some day in some lifetime there will still be hope and that small hope still keeps me to believe that we will one day be together.  GOD HELP ME! Crazy days! Besides all that junk...i'm GREAT! hmmm....TIMMY YOU ARE AMAZING! DREW CAN'T WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR CRAIG THANK YOU (for more than you have an idea)! DAVID I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU! CYLE YOUR AWESOME! JIMMY I HOPE WE'LL STAY FRIENDS! DANIEL I LOVE YOU AND YOUR AMAZINGNESS! hahaYou guys have been awesome and I appreciate everything you do and put up w/ from me! I hope we'll grow old together lol! I'm out!!

When will I find my princess to sweep off her feet!?      

hopefully someday soon!

Currently Watching Rent (Widescreen 2-Disc Special Edition) see related

its almost been 2 months and so much has happened since January...still too much to do and too much to say all i know is that God is still helping me and i'm still fighting...its a long battle i guess you could say! Good thing God is holding me the whole way.  I'd have given up by now on my own.  ANYWAYZ

Spring break was amazing...had an awesome time on the beach in South Carolina!!!

I miss friends back home!

I think i'm living in the same dorm for the third year in a row....*cocks gun*...*fires* I just want an apartment but it will be nice living w/ my new brother and best bud Drew! Although i feel like all my friendships now are going to die  but that shouldn't happen if we are real friends but i also feel that i'm only their friends b/c i live next to them which could be true but we'll just have to find out!

SCHOOL IS STRESSFUL! I love my major.  I like my classes, well most! I love my spanish class and i'm going to study abroad i don't care about money God will provide and my parents will understand, haha i'm dreaming! I have so much to do for my major. 

My new favorite movie or the one at the time is RENT!! The real world is forgotten by Anderson often.